Like the Queen Mary and the Titanic before it, this Website is about to set sail on a fantastic journey that will undoubtedly yield a vast mother-load of untold riches, riches much like those of multi-millionaires who dive into dollar sign-shaped swimming pools containing water sprinkled with a fine gold dust (if you don’t believe me look at any Richie Rich comic book).
Unlike other websites, however, I don’t sell wicker furniture, although at one time I did own a crocheted vest that seemed to invoke the very powers of the devil. I don’t have a MySpace page, nor do I have any plans on getting one in the future, I’ll leave that to people under 25 years of age, or people who wish that they were under 25 years of age but are, in reality, 43 and desperately alone, living in their parents basement, playing Supertramp over and over, wondering where it all went wrong. I know of no magic potions that will enhance the size of your penis (or your vagina, as the case may be) nor do I know the best way to consolidate your debt by buying muskrats in bulk.
That said, there are wonders to be had here, most of which involve apes of various pelt-grades.
Excelsior!
If you like ACTION, THRILLS, ADVENTURE and ARMED FLYING SQUIRRELS WITH DEGREES IN LITHUANIAN BASKET WEAVING, look no further, you have come to the right place! That's correct, folks, your entertainment dollars go further at this Website---SCOTT BROTHERS and his CATALOGUE OF CURIOSITIES---because it's FREE! Shake off feelings of BOREDOM, REGRET and SOUL-CRUSHING EMPTINESS just by looking through our pages! Nothing else to purchase to become the LIFE OF THE PARTY! With SCOTT BROTHERS and his CATALOGUE OF CURIOSITIES you can see through WALLS, produce SHRUNKEN HEADS and become as strong as CHARLES ATLAS! No money back if not 100 percent satisfied.
Catalogue of Curiosities 
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